I've always thought Sora was too nice for his own good, I know he feels sorry for Roxas. But Come ON! Letting him take over his body and go wherever he wants? Sora even locks himself away in his mind, giving Roxas complete 'privacy.' Thats just too much! So I, Riku, am forced to follow him, because I'll be DAMNED if he does anything to MY Sora's body!
So that brings me here, to the top of Twilight Town Tower, watching Sora, no, wait, ROXAS in SORA'S body, eat a sea-salt ice cream. Every time Sora lets him take over he always manages to find one and eat it. What? Is he TRYING to make Sora fat? That Bastard!
Did I mention how much I hate him? No, not Sora, ROXAS. Ugh, I hate him SO much, if he wasn't in Sora's beautiful body I'd-
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, Sora is my boyfriend, so back the fuck off, and thats even more of a reason to follow Sora-I mean ROXAS. Because, like I said before, I'll be DAMNED if he does anything to MY Sora's body.
See, at first, I didn't mind him taking over, as long as he'd come back, so I'd stay at the island, and wait for Sora to come back. But that all changed, when while ravishing my favorite brunette, I noticed something on his left hip...A tattoo. Yes, A tattoo which read XIII VIII inside a little heart. It was really small, but not unnoticeable...and it pissed me off greatly. Ever since then I don't let Roxas out of my sight...Who knows what else he'll do to taint my sexy Sora?
I know your there.
I jumped when I heard him speak, no, I seriously jumped, hell, I almost jumped off the fucking tower. I scrambled back, and pressed my back against the tower, clutching my chest and trying to catch my breath, THAT. WAS. CLOSE! Too close for comfort. I could hear Sora, no, ROXAS laughing at me, causing me to glare at him.
What the hell is so funny!?!?
He smirked, a very UN-Sora like smirk. Your face.
My eye twitched. I must not punch...Must not punch, I'll hurt Sora...DAMNIT. Sighing in defeat, I sat down next to him, but not too close, the bastard might push me off the edge...Hell, I KNOW he would.
He extended his hand to me, offering me an ice cream. Where the hell did he get that!?!
...Where the hell did you get that!?!
He just smirked at me. I'm not telling.
I frown, but grab the ice cream, taking a lick. Mm...Not bad...Not bad at all...
So why do you always follow me?
I frown at him. I don't want Sora to end up with a giant chocobo tattooed on his back. He suddenly grinned. You know...Thats a good Idea... Then he laughed at my shocked face. I was kidding...But not really. He smirked again, licking the ice cream...Ngghhh...dammit...the way he's using Sora's tongue...
Okay, as long as were playing 20 questions...Why do you always come here?
I see him pause after I ask him that, his grip on the ice cream tightening. ...Brings back memories... He mumbled, before taking a bite.
Oh. I mumble stupidly, taking a bite of my own ice cream. After a minute or so of silence, he looks at me. Can you leave now? I want to be alone, I wont do anything to Sora's body, other then consume more ice-cream.
I raised an eyebrow. Fuck no! Why the hell should I trust you!?! He glares at me...Oh god, Sora looks so hot when he glares, No! Bad Riku! Bad! Now is NOT the time!
He suddenly smirks at me. You only hate me because I kicked your ass last time we fought. What the hell did he just say to me?
Excuse me, I'm damn sure I'M The one who beat YOU the second time we fought. Remember?
He scoffed. Yeah, but you had to turn into a 40 year old dead heartless to do it. He smirked at me again, making my eye twitch, calm down...calm down Riku.
Well, I HAD TO! I HAD To get you back! For Sora's sake! Do you have any Idea what it's like!?! Watching the one person who means everything to you in an endless sleep, I was powerless! I couldn't do anything to help him, so YEAH, I HAD to become Ansem, but it worked in the end! I don't expect a NOBODY like YOU to understand. Oh yeah, I'm pissed, but he looks even more pissed off, and within a flash, were standing up and he's holding me by the collar.
Oh yeah? He spat angrily in my face.
Shit. I'm gonna die.
Do YOU have any idea what it's like to watch the one person you LOVE, FADE AWAY right in front of you!?! While your screaming and trying to call out to him, but can't!?! His LAST FUCKING WISH was too see me again! And I couldn't even give him THAT. SO SHUT UP. I flinched. Okay, maybe he does know what it's like...But seriously...Sora is fucking HOT when he's mad...
He suddenly let go, sitting down again and burying his face into his hands, sighing.
... I stare at him for a moment, before I sit next to him.
...Your talking about Axel...Right?...Sora told me about him.
He still didn't say anything, and I felt bad, because in his anger he threw his ice-cream. Yeah, thats just great, I hate it when Sora's sad...Good job Riku, your the scum of the Earth.
...Axel...
I snap back to attention and look at him.
...Axel sat exactly where your sitting now...We'd come up here, and watch the sunset, eating ice cream...Almost everyday...We'd talk about anything...He always made me laugh...and...we shared our first kiss up here...
I flinch again, okay, now I feel even worse. ...Look, Roxas...I'm-
Forget it. He interrupts me. I'm leaving now. He closes his eyes...and I can sense Sora's back. He smiles at me. Hi Riku! Did you have fun with Roxas? I stare at him for a minute, and sigh. Yeah Sor, I did. Leaning foreword, I kissed his lips softly, just like Axel did a long time ago...















Devious Comments
Comments
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-- "Oh, you people can kiss the fattest part of my ass!" - Peter Griffin (Family Guy)
-- "How's the whole adoption thing going?"
"Not so good."
*looking at a picture of his son* "Well, at least you'll get to pick yours."
- (Tropic Thunder)
This is very casually written, and it's an amusing genre, but I'd avoid using CAPITALS (as opposed to italics) when you want to emphasize something (i personally think capitals should be left for dialogue that includes screaming or shouting) and ending off exclamations with multiple marks like ?!!?!
Watch your tenses, too. You've switched from past to present a few times throughout, so it's really hard for the reader to really understand Riku's narration.
Again, you manage to just...iunno do something with the ending, and it really felt heart warming. I actually felt you captured Roxas's dilemma with only existing as half a being.
Work hard, hon
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I'm gonna eat you up like a strawberry pocky.
Yeah, it is occ for Riku, but then again, he is an enigma, so can we really give him a certian personatily?
Anyway, thanks so much for reading and the critque. ^___^ Hopefully I'll get good enough to achieve my goal, thanks for the support!
~Jenn
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[link] ...Axel, you sound like a pedo.
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[link] ...Axel, you sound like a pedo.
"The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it."
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Got it memorized?
Dance Water, Dance!
Belixas' Chan ^^
BE AFRAID.... VERY AFRAID!!!!!! O.O
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[link] ...Axel, you sound like a pedo.
"The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it."
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